That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
3 2 1 whiskey
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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