Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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