Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
