Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
from now on my penis is your penis
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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