Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
