you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
