My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize