Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
