they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
