Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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