And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
