we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
