Tell her she can't have a vagina
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
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