I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
She's the barista slut.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
This baby is an asshole
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
