he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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