i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
