I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
