Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
