Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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