I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize