Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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