highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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