He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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