I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
