Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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