Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
