The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
