Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
