I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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