This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize