On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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