What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize