For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I think I sprained my soul last night
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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