the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
