sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
