Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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