well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
