Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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