Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
