I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
