Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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