i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Im part way to drunk.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
