I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
i drank out of a bidet.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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