a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
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I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
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My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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