Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
time to smoke my breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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