No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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