Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
