i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
