Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
