You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I party with great urgency now.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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