doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I am one with the molecules
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
