I just threw up on my dentist
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
