Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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