i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
lets start a swedish sibling band together
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
