Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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