Well douche your snatch and let's go!
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
