Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
