You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
