FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
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I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.