I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
