Fine. I'll sleep in my office
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
