I want to walk on stilts...naked
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
