just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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