Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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