so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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