You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Randomize
