he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
no, he came in my armpit
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
