you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
