sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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