Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
